FOPYOT – Fear of putting yourself out there.
Many of us, myself included have a fear of putting our thoughts and ideas out there. The fear is a combination of imposter syndrome, fear of the unknown, and fear of judgment.
What could happen if you put yourself out there?
1. Positive reaction
This is the best-case scenario, you put your ideas out there and you get positive feedback. This will give you the motivation to put more thoughts and ideas out. Your confidence will build and who knows where it will end up. The opportunity to have this reaction makes all the other objections far less powerful.
2. Neutral Reaction
The only neutral reaction I can think of is no response at all. After putting something out people are ignoring it, not finding it useful, or just dismissing it. I would suggest that you put your ideas out for a while in order to get a good statistical sample. In the end, if there are just tumbleweeds then stop putting your ideas out or better yet try different ideas.
3. Negative Reaction
The negative reaction is what most people fear. They don’t want to hear that their thoughts and ideas do not have value.
One thing to realize is that no matter what your ideas someone is going to think you are wrong. There are people who would react negatively if you said the Earth was round.
One way to deal with negative reactions is to look for the underlying constructive criticism. Maybe within the negative reaction, there are ways that you can improve what you are putting out there. An athlete wants to compete with competitors that are better than they are to see where they stand. Even in losing they get to learn how close they were and what they need to change to give them a better chance of winning.
Thoughts to consider
- Make your best attempt to create real value when you put your thoughts and ideas out there. If you are genuinely trying to give value to other people they are less likely to react negatively.
- If you feel your reputation will be harmed when you are making your best attempt then there is only two outcomes. Either your reputation will be confirmed by what you put out or your reputation is not justified. If your reputation is not justified, putting your best foot out there will create your reputation that is justified. People will know you for who you really are and what you can really do. There is freedom in this situation. You will connect with people and opportunities that are a natural fit that will only grow and strengthen your new reputation.
- The only way you will know where you stand and where you need to grow is to get feedback.
- You may fear that people who know you will think of you differently. This is a good thing. People should know you, not some persona that you are playing. If you are contemplating putting yourself out there then you are on a path of growth. Therefore next year you are going to be a different person than you are this year. That is how people should see you, as someone who is constantly changing and growing.
- If you fear judgment, think of the judgment like an athlete competing. Win or lose, an athlete gains perspective and focus for where they need to go next.
Putting yourself out there is the best way to really get to know yourself and your strengths.